Finally some good days!

I’m finally starting to feel recovered from the thyroid surgery, but still making strides.  This week has had some good days and I am happy for those!  Even though my mobility is still a mess, I feel like I’m doing a lot about it.  I’m keeping busy and have even been socializing!  I’m feeling the love!

My throat is feeling so much better!  The strangling sensation is gone and I can swallow comfortably.  This has done tons to improve my mood.  I still have tightness and soreness, but those have been improving, too.  I still have a big numb area above the incision.  I have so many parts of me that are numb or have weird sensations around past surgical scars and I was not looking to add another.  Hopefully this one will behave and not start feeling like electricity whenever it gets touched.

My best friend came to visit this weekend!  We even went out for lunch.  Afterwards we stopped by my folks’ house and visited.  I was so happy to hang out and share with my friend!  img_23002Then, my folks told me that their church had given them a prayer shawl to give me.  I’m familiar with their program because my mom used to knit shawls for the church, then the whole church blesses the shall, and then it is gifted to someone having a rough time- usually a medical issue.  I was really touched that they did this for me and I love the shawl, it is made of a vibrant rainbow yarn!

The day before yesterday, my sister came over to learn about sewing!  I haven’t tried to teach her much since we were kids and it was so sweet that she asked me to teach her.  We worked on hemming curtains and I showed her all the steps with measuring, ironing, and pinning.  It’s been harder to bond with her lately with my health and her new motherhood.  We used to do everything together and have drifted apart.  So this time together was really special to me.  I got tired so quickly, but we still did a lot.  She is a quick learner.  It was pretty awesome!

Yesterday, I took a full on shower by myself, hair washed and everything.  It means a lot to me to take care of these basic personal tasks.  Then, my mom and I looked after my nephew while my sister was at the dentist.  This was here at my house and I have not baby-proofed.  He was crawling all over!  I kept crawling after him and lifting him.  It was exhausting and wonderful.  I’m cherishing these days while he’s crawling and I can actually come close to keeping up with him.  Once he’s walking, I’ll be left behind in the dust.  I can’t believe how big he is already!  After that, my mom, dad, nephew, and I went out to eat and then hung out a bit with my sister when she came back.  Later that night I went out AGAIN with my husband for dinner!  I was so proud of myself for doing so much!

Today I went to physical therapy and had a fill in physical therapist- she was great.  We talked about the exercises I’ve been doing and she taught me how to engage my core while doing them.  Plus we added an arm exercise.  I can do them all while lying down.  I felt soooo tired after the big day yesterday and today’s exercises, so I have been taking it easy.  13-172270667-0-0-1I added a new design to my online clothing store, Aware with Flair. This one is called Dizzy with Dysautonomia- it’s a spacey print with “Dysautonomia” word spirals and dizzy silhouettes floating around.  I’m not sure if it is in the best taste, as it is a little silly, but I think it certainly conveys a symptom that so many of us with these conditions deal with.  I went ahead and ordered a dress for myself, but haven’t received my first order yet.  I wish they were faster!

In other news, I have now ordered a mobility scooter through my insurance and that will be delivered in 2-3 weeks.  I think it will be good for indoor use at home.  It was not what I was hoping for and won’t work for going out, so I kept shopping.  There were a few power chairs I really liked, such as one that reclined and had ways to lift the legs up, but my mom thought they would be too heavy.  Since she takes me around a lot, I listened.  I tried to find the most light weight powerchair I could find.   We ended up picking the Zinger Chair.  I ordered it and it will arrive next week.

I can’t believe I did this- it is a huge investment and basically means I have started to come to terms with my loss of mobility (on some level) and that I am in full “make it work!” mode.  I’m getting really excited about taking it out and getting to go places without being pushed in a chair.  There is a mall that is half closed down near me that I think I will go to first, since barely anyone will be there.  I have a whole list of places to go after that!  I’m really still nervous about it on many levels.  I am very into fashion and self expression.  Even in my mid-30s I have blue hair and often wear funky clothes.  I am really shy, though, and never liked the attention or stares that my look brought with it.  Now I am adding some weird looking wheelchair to the mix?  I already know from being pushed in a wheelchair that no one wants to even look in my direction.  It’s like they see me, can’t figure out what they are looking at and stare for a moment, then realize they are looking at someone in a wheelchair, then they do everything to act like they never saw anything.  I’ve stayed at home a lot because I just didn’t like dealing with it all, but that’s got to go.  I know I’ve got to bring my confidence and self esteem out.   I don’t want to stop being me and I don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable.  I can do this!  Interestingly enough, Zinger has a program where Zinger owners can tell people about the chairs and offer new buyers a rebate- then Zinger also gives the owner a tiny commission.  Maybe that’ll get me interacting when I go out, lol!  My mind is all a whirl about getting back out there, but in this new way.


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